Monday, February 28, 2011

It's Not Giving Up

Tonight I decided to withdraw from my Stats class this semester.  It was too late to drop it so I'll receive a "W" in it, but I feel that it's for the best.  I've never considered myself a quitter and I still don't actually. 

All through high school I played basketball for the school.  As a senior I was told when I was put on the team that if I worked hard I could see more playing time.  Well as the season progressed no matter how hard I worked I saw less and less playing time.  I was almost always the first one on the court and the last one off the court.  I dedicated my life to working as hard as I could not to let my coach or teammates down and to improve as much as I could.  I missed out on dances, mutual occasionally, and other social activities with my friends.  I spent every minute I could in a gym working to be better.  None of it helped and by the end of the season I was sitting the bench the entire game each time except for Senior Night when I started and played a whole 30 seconds.  I felt insulted.  I paid a fee to play, my parents were paying to get the family in to each home game, my incredible dad traveled the 3 hours to Challis to watch me sit the bench.  The week before district tournament my parents came to watch practice so they could see me play since I would not get any playing time during the game.  My coach blew up.  He yelled at me, he yelled at my parents, he said some really nasty things in front of all my teammates and coaches.  All I could do was cry and leave the gym.  Later that night the coach, my parents, and I all had a meeting with the school principal.  I cried the entire time as I expressed my feelings of anger, hurt, and sadness.  I felt abused, but no matter what I couldn't bring myself not to finish out the season.  I never quit.

Even now I struggle with this experience.  I cried as I wrote this, same as I do anytime I talk about it.  I still struggle with forgiving not only the coach, but many of my teammates who never did or said anything about the situation, who never noticed me.  But as painful as this experience was/is, I learned and am still learning many lessons from it.

1.  I was/am reminded of what an awesome dad I have.  He never gave up on me.  He supported me in everything I did even though at times it was hard for him to see how bad I was hurting.  Being able to ride home with my dad instead of riding the bus on the 3 hour ride home from Challis was one of the best gifts my dad ever gave me.  And how can I forget my dad sending a balloon bouquet with my favorite candy on the first day of district tournament.  He is amazing and I love him beyond belief.

2.  I am still learning forgiveness.  It may take a while, but I'm working on it.

3.  This one isn't really a lesson, but more of a lifestyle.  I know that as a coach I will treat my athletes with respect and as human beings.  I will not focus on only the "star" athletes, but the ones that might not be the best, but have potential if someone will just give them a chance.  My whole coaching style is opposite of the way I was coached on that team all in spite of my coach.

4.  Last I'm going to mention and most important to this post, I learned that there are times when you need to cut your losses and fold.  It's not "quitting" in the way that we think of "quitting" as a bad thing.  There are times it is appropriate.  There are times it is necessary for our well being.  Withdrawing from my Stats class is one of those times.  I have not been able to make very many classes because of illness of the kids or myself.  I'm taking 12 other credits (4 classes) besides this one, all with just as much or more homework in it.  Between everything I have to do and being behind enough I wasn't going to get caught up (not on homework, but on understanding the concepts) no matter how hard I worked, it was time to cut my losses and fold.

So even though I'm no longer taking stats this semester I don't consider myself a quitter because a quitter is someone who gives up quickly when it gets hard without trying to make it work.  I worked hard as long as I could and now it's time to fold.

Friday, February 25, 2011


Finally! Another Blog post from me!  This semester is kicking my behind so I haven't really been on the blogging scene lately.  Which is totally uncool especially since I have soooo much to blog about now.  So here they come randomly, sporadically, etc.-ally. :P

In attempt to make our lives healthier and teach my kids to eat healthier I've done these sneaky little things to help us change.  It's not like we're super unhealthy, but we could be better and definitely be more active at home.  At school we're really active, but by the time we get home I think we're all just pooped so we sit and veg.

1.  Bedtime snack/Afternoon snack choices are:  a piece of fruit, graham crackers and milk, yogurt, string cheese, or a piece of whole wheat bread.  Occasionally they can have strawberry or chocolate milk.

2.  My kids live for Ramen Noodles.  So I put chicken, peas, and carrots in the last time I fixed it.  Ben wasn't feeling very good, but he ate a bit. Mostly he ate all of the veggies and left the noodles. Go figure.

3.  I've been trying to make sure we have a veggie or fruit every meal.  I'm really bad at this especially because sometimes I'd rather just have meat/protein.

4.  I've started serving juice and milk only at meals/snacks.  In between they can have water.  Myelle has even asked for water occasionally now!

5.  I put music on and tell them to show me their best dance moves. :D

I'm sick of the cold weather.  I'm counting down the days until we get to go to Arizona to see these lovely people:
Brandon & Rachel. ( I stole this pic from her blog. I would link to it, but I forgot it's private.)
BTW:  20 Days, 11 Hours, 55ish minutes.

I never thought I would say this, but I L.O.V.E my Kindle App on my new phone!!  Oh and I love my new phone!!

htc Droid Incredible


Thursday, February 10, 2011

Love It

I thought it would be fun to let you know things that I like/love and things I'm not such a big fan of.  So here's the second (Sunflower seeds were the first)

I absolutely love my Neti Pot.  I get really bad sinus headaches and when I do I just rinse with this baby and BAM! I can function again.  They're like $15 at Walgreens and the extra packs are lik $10, but if your sinuses give you problems it's sooo worth it.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Sleep? What's That?

Getting to bed is hard to do,
Hard to do, to do, to do.
Getting to bed is hard to do,
To do, to do, to do.
(Sung in my most primary children like voice)

Ok, not kidding though, I've had a hard time making it to bed very early or rather at all.  I'm definitely not getting my "In Bed at 11pm" points for the "Great in Eight" challenge I'm doing. (more to come on that)  There is just so much to do and not nearly enough time to do it.  Granted I didn't feel well the past couple days so I didn't do much other than sleep during the day, but I need to be sleeping at night.
Like I said there's just too much to do. I'm not sure how to do it all.  
I have homework in pretty much every class.  Tons of it in my Stats, Movement Theory, and Foundations classes.  All of which I'm behind in.  Even more so now since I didn't make it to class the past 2 days.  I've been pretty much neglecting my housework and feels like I've been neglecting the kids as far as playtime goes.  "Sorry kiddos it's movies again today since Mommy doesn't feel good." :(
I'm so tired during the day and I know it's because I don't get to bed before midnight...Ever.  
(Note that I'm writing this at 2am)

Problem:  I do my housework and homework at night usually lasting until midnight, but by then I've caught my second wind and I can't go to sleep no matter how hard I try.  

Solutions:  None at the moment.  If you have any...PLEASE HELP!!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Wednesday's Child


You know how I told you how drained I was the other day?  Well, it's wreaking havoc on my emotions.  I watched last night's biggest loser and any time they even showed the yellow team or grey team I started crying. Not just tearing up.  Actual tears rolling down the cheeks.  Well, it's Wednesday and I was watching the news when they featured Wednesday's Child.

This is Ariona(3), Nicole(6), and Maggie(2).  They are just adorable!! Tonight they featured Ariona and I more than cried...I bawled.  My heart just broke for these 3 sisters.  I wish I was in a position to adopt them all.  Now's just not the right time though.  One day though our family will grow bigger one way or another.

Here's the link to the article on Local News 8.